Prioritize Your Response
Experienced family lawyers advise that if you are confronted by the possibility of a rapidly deteriorating marriage you will need to know the best way to respond to your spouses conduct so that you both minimize the harmful effects of their behavior and to maximize your to protect what is most important to you.
The First Step is the hardest.
It hardly needs to be said, but it does not hurt to be reminded: Don’t panic. Immediately remove yourself and your child from any situation that could become harmful to either of you.
Show some dignity. Never attempt to resolve your marital differences on Facebook or in your own driveway. Remember that public scolding, shaming, or even attempting to reason with or otherwise trying to influence your spouse, once they have made up their mind to leave the marriage, is wholly ineffective. The utilization of such tactics generally means that you will be engaging in pointless argument, at best, and at worst you could be jeopardizing your safety.
You may hope to reconcile with your spouse at some future date but it would be unwise to expect them to change without professional help.
Will moving out of my house reflect poorly on my case?
Every case is different, staying in the marital residence along side your spouse once a divorce has been filed is in my opinion an indicator of insanity. Ceding the temporary use of the house prior to an emergency hearing may demonstrate to the judge who is the responsible party, who has the children’s best interest at heart. I preach to my clients that long term benefits easily outweigh short term gains.
As a last resort I will frequently advise that my client’s give their spouse as much rope as they need to hang themselves. If your husband cheated on your during the marriage he is unlikely to stop during the divorce. If your wife was a hopeless alcoholic while you were together a divorce action is unlikely to convince her to sober up. Documentation and proof are your best allies.
However, if your children are at risk then all bets are off regarding generalized notions of what is the best strategy in how to proceed. Protect your children first ask questions later,
When should I retain an attorney?
Often we are retained several months prior to one of the parties actually filing for divorce. Although we are retained by one spouse the other party is completely unaware of our representation. There are several benefits to hiring an attorney well before you file for divorce. First and foremost we can help you document and investigate both your spouses finances and conduct. Prior to filing a divorce action we often call upon the services of private detectives, forensic computer experts and accountants to establish the evidence we need to present your case for maximum effect. Knowing what to do before you file for a divorce can be just as important as knowing what to do once the paperwork has been filed.
If you feel that you could benefit from thoughtful experienced legal advise feel free to contact our office.